I steal souls!

There exists that story where primitive tribes in the vast Amazonian jungles feared cameras because they could steal your soul.

Funny thing is, if you think about it, they kind of do. A photograph of you, right this very instant, will never exist again. The same moment, your age down to the second will change a blink later. Nothing will ever be that moment again.

Each day we are on this spinning rock is another moment in which we live in a world that is all our own. I won't get super existential-ly about it, but my soul, in this moment is in a perpetual state of change. I will be a different me in a few minutes or even seconds from now. Time does not stop nor will my personal growth or aging.

A photograph of a person will forever record or steal that moment from the wastes of our inability to remember everything, ever. A photograph is a stolen moment of time of our soul in a specific state.

I try to capture as many moments as possible. My kids, friends, family, loved ones, and strangers all grace my library of film negatives and digital files. I've stolen many moments and they will always be mine.

I was thinking of music today and singing in my car when I remembered an old friend who had since passed on. My soul is nothing like it was back in those days and I realized I captured a moment in a somewhat tortured man's life where he was happy. Surrounded by music he created in a moment that will never exist again. A moment I can never share with him again. I played one song with him and another friend during a performance only once. It did not seem like a pivotal moment in time, but looking back, it was a huge moment for us all to play together.

I will never forget that music and the few images I have of him will never forget his soul.

R.I.P. Rant

Finding paths again.

Hey all.

Yeah, it's been a fairly epic amount of time since I last logged in here and posted something. I've been neglecting my desktop computer for the convenience of my laptop / iPhone (devil machine) and found my internet bookmarks leading me here again.

I've still been taking photographs, but more of my kids and family outings. There is little time for creative photography when you have two little babies at home. More or less, I've been bogged down with work and trying to maintain a home. Both of which have proven to be quite a challenge all in their own. My cameras are crying quietly to themselves in their bags, I just know it.

The kids are growing and I took the last semester off to see Bennett in his first months after birth. Education time frame or not, I'm not going to be absent for that. River has become quite a character and much more than I ever knew I could appreciate or love. Being a dad has given me so much perspective on life that I would surely never trade it for anything.

My career goals have shifted dramatically from premed down to nursing. It is a much more manageable career choice and if I want to change specialties, I don't need to do another residency. I'd much rather be the doer than the decider given my love of getting my hands dirty in emergency medicine. Luckily, I've found a career choice I enjoy and love working in...it's only a matter of buckling down and finding my place.

I've also expanded my skill set to include basic survival training and firearms. I wouldn't call it an obsession, but more of a supplement to my daily living and awareness.

I would be negligent not to post anything here, so let me see what I have lurking on my hard drive...(these are all 35mm film scans, no post-processing, so beware the RAW IMAGES! har har)

The walkway at Seal Beach or Children's something-or-other in La Jolla, CA. I couldn't even begin to remember the date. Mid 2000 something-ish.

Up near Julian, CA there is the Warlock Mine...it's all burned and collapsed from recent (then) fires, but there are some standing structures.

A light fixture from Balboa Park in San Diego, CA. I liked how the texture of the wall is visible in the negative.

My first day street shooting in downtown San Diego, CA some years ago. I wish I had remembered his story and why he was so eager to have his picture taken, but it all escapes me now.

The remnants of a house from the San Diego County fires back in 2005 I want to say. The ironic part is that the developing can busted and a light leak burned the film negative as well.

Messing around with some expired Fuji Velvia 50 film on the beach.

My old friend Charlotte at the Conservatory in Balboa Park.


The pool in Balboa Park. There was a guy playing the saxophone to the left in the shaded area outside of the frame.

This is Suzanne and her old quartet before life happened. If you know anything about photography, let me explain why I'm proud of the image (besides the obvious conent). It is Kodak TMax 3200 film that was pushed to 6400 in VERY LOW light conditions. The lens was an old Canon FD 50mm f1.4 that was wide open. The exposure was somewhere in the second to 1/2 second area and it was taken hand-held. The fact that I even got an image is a miracle unto itself...the only arena I failed in was getting it in focus, but manual focus in almost no light would be asking for two miracles.

Anyways, that's all for now. I have another year of digital images to sort through along with almost 750 negatives to page through. Flickr had a very SMALL update recently, so head on over there. I'll try to be make this a weekly thing. Try.

Shut up, Yoda.